Thursday 19th December Italian Off the Menu for the Foreseeable Future Another awful week in the press for poor old Nigella Lawson. We’re not trying to kick her whilst she’s down or anything… we just like writing silly songs. … [Read more...]

Monday 9th December Baby Boomers: Living the High Life, Causing Maximum Seethe... and Loving It Record numbers of Baby Boomers are being hospitalized for recreational drug use, whilst a growing percentage are pootling off on ‘adult gap years’. As the Baby Boomers get to act like teenagers again, many people are at last coming to terms with the fact that their twilight years will not be quite as easy going… and they know just who's to blame. … [Read more...]

Sunday 1st December Bob Dylan, His Spot Welder & a Pit Full of Iron Ore On 18th November Bob Dylan opened an exhibition of his iron gates entitled Mood Swings. This came as a surprise to many, but not to those who knew all about the singer’s early days and the industrial heartland from which he hails… Robert Zimmerman was raised in Hibbing, Minnesota... a grand old town in Saint Louis County. At the edge of the town sits the largest open pit iron mine known to man, and this pit provided the raw materials for America's industrial revolution. The town was also home to some of the most skilled metal workers in the world. The locals called them... 'The Railing Men'. Bob Dylan forges Iron Gates Stare inside the frames you'll see his fate In the place of bars, Are scrap metal parts And even one with a nice small bronze guitar He's seeing clearly now Bob sings just like a singer, yes he does He plays tunes just like a singer, yes he does And he paints just like … [Read more...]

Sunday 17th November Art, Nazis & a £1 Billion Fraud: Degenerate Profiteering on a Grand Scale When news of a billion pound art theft broke last week the entire world paid attention. As more details come to light the story looks set to run for quite some time...   She is a strange and gurning lady Red cheeks, hair, scarf and lips, There's scarlet plumage on her hat And she's by Otto Dix In a flat in deepest Munich His art and more was found Unearthed by tax inspectors Nearly a billion pounds We hear there were old bean cans Stacked in front of these great works Matisse, Picasso, Mark Chegalls, The media's going berserk These paintings simply vanished Back in the mid war Post 'Degenerate Exhibition' A Nazi spoof which toured This lesson in cultural warfare Saw paintings hung awry With a string of dodgy captions Containing stinking Nazi lies Then this art hit the possession Of Cornelius Gurlitt A man who hid a treasure trove And … [Read more...]

Sunday 10th November Security Chiefs Questioned: Country Under Threat Leaders of spy agencies MI5, MI6 and GCHQ were quizzed by a committee of MPs and peers in Westminster this week about a range of less-than-legal working practices. Some of their reasons for operating outside of the law were quite eye-opening to say the least...   Mr Parker Head of MI5 Was asked to explain away his spies And all the bugging of many folk So in Westminster he stood and spoke... I'm afraid you're all oblivious To the dangers that we face As we protect our race Always on the case Ensuring evil's put back in its place You need to be oblivious Some of the things we see Like Martians in the sky Hunting for brains to fry Would bring the average man down to his knees If you weren't oblivious, you'd die You'd die... Without us fighting back With bare hands and phones we hack The streets would fill with blood You'd die in the flood Look what evil's done It's armed … [Read more...]

Saturday 2nd November British Newspapers at War: The Mail 'V' The Guardian This week the boring war between the Guardian and the Daily Mail reached new heights. On Thursday 31st October Richard Littlejohn posted a scathing attack on Guardian food writer Jack Monroe. On Friday 1st November, the blogger published her rebuttal. Nobody came out of the exchange particularly well... and the numerous comments on both articles were equally ridiculous. Fingers start to stutter as they await their cue, Soon right wing mouths will start to foam, whilst the left's will bay and spew. Eyes are scanning twitter for fresh stories to adore, Or castigate and ridicule in this comment section war. The twat-signal blazes brightly over at the Mail, As dear old Richard Littlejohn posts his latest heartfelt wail. He's ripped into a blogger, that foodie one, you know? The Guardian-writing kale-pusher, the sponger - Jack Monroe. Or that's how he described her with his trademark wit, The … [Read more...]

Stella recently had the misfortune of seeing one of the BNPs promotional parody songs (we won't link it as we wouldn't want to help with their SEO). Appallingly, such videos must do very well with their demographic and for recruiting new members. After she'd been sick in her mouth a little bit, our Stella decided to create an anti-BNP song by taking a look at what would happen if they ever got their way. We think it's rather good. She even made a video to go with it. Future's looking whiter, now they're out the door Darkies' gone, still not won the war We took back this green and pleasant land, but we still have do so much more (And to think they called us all fools) We're nobody's fool and so it angers me This chaos is our strategy We're the elected BNP, voted in so you'd all be free   We've sent 'em back, those ethnic stayers No Vindaloo or Chelsea players No David Haye or beef chow mein, This great county will be just like Queen Vicky's reign We've sent 'em back, this … [Read more...]